GOOD MORNING RANT POST TO AMUSE YOU

I thought that I would wake up, and just get out of my system things that I CANNOT STAND. Then we can proceed the rest of the day with happiness and light hearts....hehehe.
1. WOMEN, especially those over the 40 year mile marker that call themselves "girl". GET REAL.. it isn't making you look any younger, smarter, or cuter....Accept your old age, and get over it.
2. Colon cleansing commercials...PLEASE..if my colon needs cleansing, I will search you out. I don't need you interrupting NCIS, and fantasies of Mark Harmon with your crap. No pun intended.
3. Reality shows that are NO WHERE near my reality. I want to see "BORING Housewives of Jackson County"..how are other women coping with living in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by rednecks?? I do not want to watch a bunch of rich, spoiled women cat-fighting over who has the best dinner party..I am living amongst rednecks, ones that shoot innocent animals, and you are worried that your yacht and mansion don't match??? (This includes anything having to do with wifes, surviving,high school reunions, etc..can't you just make ONE reality show? It could be called Housewives of Orange County from High School that Survived...)
4. Online "marketing" people...HELLO!! I am not stupid enough to not know that since you couldn't sell your OWN product, you will sell "marketing". I am not paying you $1, or $1000 for you to tell me how to "market". There is nothing that you can share with me that I can't figure out for myself. So, PLEASE stop sending me emails, twitters, facebook, etc...I think you need to market your own stuff..before you tell me how to do it. (Oh..and saying the word "buzz" doesn't immediately, magically make a million people run to you..just so you know.)
5. People that hurt animals. Hell, you want to beat up something...come up here--I will set you up with some wonderful rednecks..You can even tie antlers to their heads and make them run in front of you, while you aimlessly shoot your gun at them.
4. Artist that act like their techniques and projects are top-secret, national security needed, ideas straight from the vaults of the National Mint. PLEASE..art needs to be shared! I have emailed a man on FLICKr THREE TIMES. All I want to know is HOW you get images blown up to 3 feet tall, come on..spill the secrets!! There's nothing you can do that is SO wonderful, SO magnificent, that it needs to be kept secret. I bet Michelangelo would have shared with us the painting of the Sistine Chapel..so what's so special about your stuff that you cannot share???
5. Cashiers in retail establishments that talk on the phone while ringing up your order. It takes all I can do, not to tell them that the removal of that phone from in between their buttocks is going to hurt A LOT more than the insertion. HELLLLOOOOOO... ME SPENDING my money in your store is providing YOU with a JOB...GET OFF THE PHONE!!

Ok..five RANTS are enough...I basically need to turn off the TV, do ALL my shopping online, and stop looking at other artists' ..and my life would blissful..Have a great, happy, wonderful day!
Live Artfully